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When Despair Threatens to Undo You

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Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

Guys this isn’t my typical post, but it’s an important one about when despair threatens to stop derail your progress. No matter what your business is or who your “tribe” is, it applies as we all experience loss. So, while this talks a lot about my law enforcement tribe, it’s meant for everyone. And of course, my favorite writers’ tribe!

Something horrible happened last night.

I lost a friend, a fellow officer, someone I’ve known and worked with for 20 years. No, he wasn’t my best friend nor were we extremely close, but we were brother and sister. Part of the thin blue line family.

It’s a different bond when you risk your life for someone else’s and know that they’d do the same. I would die a thousand deaths before I let another officer die.

The worst thing is, I just saw him last week at another officer’s retirement party. He had an infectious laugh and was always pulling a prank on someone. Even though I didn’t see him often, he was still there you know?
It wasn’t on duty. He was doing something he loved, with the woman he loved….and she died too. It was a motorcycle accident.

We Must Go On

While the sadness is often overwhelming when we lose someone, we can’t lay down and die. Sometimes we need to be stronger off the battlefield than on.

I guess it just made me realize that as cliché as it sounds…… really must go on. We must be there for those that aren’t strong enough. For those that think that they can’t continue.

We must be their strength and show them that it will be okay. It really can’t rain all of the time.

There will be happiness again. There will be hope. There will be brighter days.

But understand if you need to take a few hours or even a day to grieve. Give yourself that time. In law enforcement, we are taught that that’s weakness, but in reality, it’s facing the fear and sorrow head on that few are brave enough to do.

Sympathy and Empathy are Vital

We were given feelings for a reason; to be sympathetic and empathetic. To understand how others’ feel. To put ourselves in their shoes.

No matter who you are or what career you are in, we all have similar relationships and friendships. We all have struggles and hardships.

After you’ve given yourself that brief reprieve. You must get up and move again. Keep going, one step at a time. Step. By. Step.

This strength is the same strength that makes us better people and pushes us to take chances in life. Those of us that dare to reach for our dreams take chances.

The Choice is Yours and Yours Alone

You take a chance on your friends. You take a chance in love. You take a chance in yourself.

Taking a chance in yourself may mean taking the chance to succeed. Despair could be one more excuse that the universe throws up to block you from success. Don’t give in to it!

Today I chose to be productive. To push past the sadness for my friend’s family and other friends. Their other brothers and sisters. There’s strength in numbers.

While friendships and relationships will bring you pain, they also bring you joy. You must take that chance. Chance in someone else. Chance in yourself. It will only make you a better person and a better friend.

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